Bills Schmills

I am sorry to tell you the terrible truth of adulthood: Remember all of those times that your parents griped about how you were an unappreciative teenager because they worked hard to put a roof over your head and you thought, “Well, duh, that is your job, you are a parent.”

Your parents were right. It is hard just to keep a roof over your head.

As an adult you get to do all sorts of fun things like drink beer and stay up late whenever you want and watch tv show marathons on Netflix for 8 hours straight and eat ice cream for breakfast. But you also have to pay bills. Which not only is a major bummer of adulthood but also makes mail as an adult way less fun.

Here are some bad things about bills:

-You have already used the water, cable, gas, phone…so it’s lame that you have to pay for it after. It’s not like you’re getting something new and exciting that you are paying for. Bummer.

-You need a stinkin’ stamp to send your check in. And you need enough checks (Not a problem, if you have Charles Schwab!) And you have to remember to bring it to the mailbox. Ugh.

-They don’t all come at the same time each month and some come online and it’s kind of hard to keep all those things organized, don’t they know you have a life?!?

-If you are late or you move a lot (me) and sometimes your mail doesn’t show up in a timely manner, you have to pay late fees and it impacts your credit. So lame.

Here are some good things about bills:

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…but even though we hate bills (unanimously, survey says), you still have to pay them. So the goal is to make paying them as painless as possible. Actually, the goal is to forget about them altogether so that you can focus your adult energy on eating ice cream for breakfast. But how can you forget about them altogether without wrecking your credit and/or having your power cut off (which would be horrible because then you couldn’t read my blog)?

AUTOMATIC BILL PAY. It is a miracle. Look online at your bank’s website. It takes 20 minutes to set up, you will never, ever be late on a bill again, and you don’t have to think about your bills. At all.

Here are some tips for making the most of this modern day miracle:

-Set up your bills to be due right when your paycheck comes in. That way, you won’t ever have to worry about overdrafting your checking account, and also you know that whatever ca$h money is left in there is yours for the using (within your budget, of course).

-If, for some reason, you don’t want to pay a whole bill at once (maybe your credit card balance is too high?) you can always set up your bank to automatically make the minimum payment and you will NEVER pay late fees ever! Yeah!

-If you have some bills that are due to, say, a roommate or your mom (thanks for the family plan phone discount, Mom!), you can set up your bank to automatically mail a check to an individual at a designated time, too. Saves stamps, saves checks, saves time, saves nagging, saves feeling guilty about forgetting and then worrying about tallying up past due amounts. Pretty awesome. AND it improves adulthood mail for the recipient, because getting a check in the mail is always nicer than getting a bill in the mail.