Subjects: Lionel (31) and Wilhemina (29)
Lionel is in graduate school and Wilhemina is working as a short term contractor. Lionel is living off of loans and Wilhemina is living off of her salary (which is variable depending on whether or not she can get a contract extension, but it is generally renewed every three-six months). They are not married but have lived together for almost three years.
Lionel and Wilhemina have separate finances. They track their joint expenses in a google spreadsheet, with a column for what Lionel owes Wilhemina, a column for what Wilhemina owes Lionel, what the difference is and who owes whom. This way, they only have to pay each other back when the expenses get unbalanced. Lionel is responsible for paying rent so Wilhemina usually owes him each month. This works for them because Lionel has more flexible expenses because his student loans are disbursed in two large chunks each year.
If they go out to eat and intend to split the meal, one of them can just pay for it and the amount owed goes into the spreadsheet. This way they don’t have to worry about cash or writing checks to each other all the time. They have an easy online money transfer system set up so they actually never write each other checks at all.
When they first moved in together, they tried to keep track of groceries and other household expenses on the spreadsheet. They discovered that the expenses usually came out about even each month, so they decided to just take turns grocery shopping and not worry about tracking household costs.
The exception is if one of them has a big grocery trip (stocking up on booze, trip to Costco)- then it will go in the spreadsheet.
If they are having a date night and one person is treating the other, that does not go into the spreadsheet. They can always spot each other cash without worrying about one person being taken advantage of. Neither person feels like they always pay- they already have an easy system set up so that it is very easy to split the bill. This system has been working for them for a few years.
This system works for Lionel and Wilhemina because they have similarly tight budgets, similar spending habits, they don’t worry about counting every penny, they can each spend their own money on what they choose, and neither partner is taking advantage of the other.